Where did these lines come from?

It seems like everyone around me is in a very reflective mood. I guess I'm fitting into that right now too. I've seen a lot, been a lot of places, and met so many wonderful people. Some of whom have moved on, either in life or in new life. It seems as if the time I've had has been incredibly short, and yet, looking back, it's impossible for it to have been even remotely brief. I'm 42. I've been in ministry for almost 20 years and am looking at my life right now. Is this what I want to be for the rest of my life?
Considering that I have no idea how long my life will last (if you've ever seen alt 40, you'd probably wager with me that I've got a 50/50 chance of making it home tonight.) I have no idea what I want to be for the rest of it.
I don't have a bucket list, don't want to. I think it's a waste of time, because so many wonderful things come my way that to wish for big things is silly. But I can tell you that my time in parish ministry will be ending soon. Not today, not tomorrow, but in a while. I have no idea where God wants me to go next, but I know that it's different. I'm ok with that. now. I'm still struggling with the unknown, but that's ok too. I may never own that production company I've always dreamed of, I may never work for a great newspaper, I don't think I'd want that anyway, I'm in such a different place than I've been in the past.
I have such good freinds and such wonderful expereinces to look back on, I can only anticipate with joy where I'll go next. But can someone please tell me, where did these lines on my face come from?

Does it make a difference?

I'm at my desk being completely depressed about ministry. I feel for Jesus dealing with his disciples - he offers the banquet of eternal life, and still they walk away. How hard we try to show people the Gift that Christ has given us, the chance to live eternally with him; only to have soccer or band or work or golf overshadow it.

How can we change the world when the world doesn't want to change?

What was I thinking?

Big Dreams, small abilities. I've done 3 out of 5 workshops so far on the History of Liturgy. Those who come seem to be enjoying it, but I'm getting so tired of it. I'm procrastinating and wishing I was anywhere else - like working on a podcast or camping. It seems like what starts out as a great idea gets dragged into a long, arduous task that never ends!

I wonder if the Tech world is like that too. We come up with some great ideas and folks are interested, but when it comes to implementing we lose steam. I've heard some fantastic ideas lately and I wonder: who's going to do it?

Growing fast

I've been so busy with life that I haven't taken time to even think, let alone think about what I'm thinking.

I've started thinking (usually over drinks with a bunch of my old fart friends in the bar) that the world is so far ahead of us that we in the catechetical world are no where near being able to catch up, let alone actually do it. Kids and young adults don't even think in the same way we did! We need to grow up and get a movin....

The one thing I've been wondering personally is: what makes one person able to do what another person thinks? I've been having so many thoughts on the fact that we in catechesis are thinking that we're catching up, when we're in the dust. When I share that I've had a lot of thoughts on this, people tell me that we need to have a think tank. Come to find out I've been beaten to the punch! I think I'm just too scared to actually step out and ask folks, that they'll laugh because I'm such a smalltime geek...But I'm happy, because the conversation really needs to happen. Is there room for more than one conversation?