Ok... I am NOT nervous...

Well, yes, yes, I am. 

Tomorrow is D-day.  in more ways than one.

I sheduled a doctor's appointment for a checkup aeons ago - and now it's here.  Ugh.  I haven't been to the doctors' office since my burns in 06 - well, unless you count the two years of care I received at John's Hopkins Burn center.  I have the release papers - '08.  September '08.  I spent enough time with doctors for tests and checks and being looked at and looked over to last me a lifetime.

But, here I am.  and I am... freaking scared.  I know I've gained weight since the last time I was there - over 7 years ago.  And I can tell you how much.  20 lbs.  But see, last time I was there, it was to get checked out before starting a weight-loss program.  THAT really worked didn't it?

And I know, because I know the type of doctor that he is, he's going to send me to the usual round up of specialists.  He told me to last time, and while I was beginning that wonderful process I got burned and put all of that on hold...

So, let's make this a guessing game.  PAP, yep, gettting that taken care of at the office tomorrow - whoopee... Now for the ones I'm going to have to make with specialists:

Cardiologist
Mamogram
Gastroeterologist - oh yea... that colonoscopy sounds like so much fun
what am I missing? there's a couple more I know...

Oh yea, let's see both my parents are diabetic so I'm guessing the Endocrinologist.

Then, hmmm... I'm thinking lots of sun exposure would grant me a visit to the dermatologist

My allergies might buy me a ticket to the allergist.

I think I'll stop there... one more "ist" and I'll lose it.

The other reason that I'm dreading tomorrow is that it's one week since I began the process of ditching the fat suit.  That means weigh-in.  THAT scares me.  Not because of the number... hell, I've lived with high numbers for many years.  But for what it might do to me.  I've been trying.  I've been drinking my water, counting my calories and logging whatever goes into my mouth... heck, I've even been keeping track of my activities.  If that damn scale hasn't budged it may be very, very depressing for me.  If this week was this hard and nothing happened, why the heck would I keep it up?

Oh, yea because I don't want to have to visit the bariatric surgeon....

So here we go... again.